Finally some respite

Yet another game. Yet another spectacular display. And we find ourselves with most games under our belt and least points to show for it. In fact, we are the only team who has lesser points than games played. Now beat that guys!

As a reward for our performance (and also to spare you guys the torture), the organisers have given us 4 days off. That means no early flight to catch, no early morning training sessions, lots of sleep (& sleeping around for the hopeful souls), time spent in the pool, shopping, bitching around. Suddenly, life seems livable again.

Can't quite understand our performance in the field though. For 24 hours before the match, all we did was field, field and field. We fielded in the outfield, we fielded in the infield, we fielded under lights, we fielded over lights. We caught so many balls through the day that some of the boys were in serious danger of injuring themselves as they went for the balls even in their sleep. And look what it translated to during the game.

Before the game, we had a pep talk from Deputy Coach. All he talked about was fielding. And in some ways, he seemed to refer to us desi boys when talking about sloppy fielding. While we are certainly not the best fielders in the world, most of our young boys are as good as any, and I thought this was a little unjustified. And as our desi boys were doing us proud on the field, overrunning the ball, slipping clumsily, throwing wild, we were all squirming in our seats. From the corner of my eyes I noticed the coaches exchanging 'all-knowing' glances. And then, Skipper himself grassed a sitter. I, like some others on the bench, heaved a sigh of relief. At least now we won't be singled out. This time though, the coaches just stared at the field blankly. No look, no expression, no smirk. By the end of the game we had shown the world what an equal opportunity team we are. Irrespective of nationality, caste, colour, creed, everyone in the team had dropped catches. Wow! Talk about team spirit.

If dropping catches wasn't embarassing enough, our young boy Bubaan not only dropped a catch, he also showed half the stadium behind us his white cotton 'andar ki baat' while doing so. Dildo is furious at this gross indecent exposure. He feels this one act of negligence has caused more harm to our reputation than all our defeats put together. What's the point of spending so much money on designer jerseys if players wear their nadavalas under them? We have been told that, as per Dildo's orders, each of us will get 500 Rands to buy better looking jockeys. Good news for all of us, with the exception of Buddhiman Baba who is now a nervous wreck. He has been informed that in all of Africa they don't make jockeys his size.

Most of us are perplexed as to why Bangla Tiger is still warming the bench. Does Bhookha think that the wibbly wobblies will win us matches? I am sure Bhookha doesn't have attitude issues with Bangla, so all I can assume is that Bhookha's not aware of what all he can do in the field. So far Bangla hasn't questioned Bhookha on his exclusion and the rest of us aren't authorised to ask. Lordie, the only guy who can question if he wants to, doesn't really care any more and has absolutely nothing to say in team meetings or training sessions. He is just going through the drills. And outside of the ground, he hangs around with his old pals in other teams.

After the loss against the Bubblies, most of us were hurt and angry. So near, yet so far. Some of us thought that the umpire had lost it for us. After yesterday's loss, it's almost like we have been numbed. It doesn't hurt anymore. We have accepted this as our fate. Not that we were dancing in the ailes, but in the team bus we were quietly going about our own thing. No blame game, no analysis paralysis, nothing that would show that this matters to us anymore.

After the game Chhota Chetan was telling Little John that he feels we will spoil any one team's semi final chances. And since they play us again in Jo'burg in a few days, he is sceptical if we decide to pull the plug in that one game. I think Chhota has read it quite well. In one match, skipper's bound to fire and win the game on his own. And that unlucky team will lose out on the semis, purely as God's punishment for losing to the losers.

Most of us went out for dinner together last night. Word has it that our team sponsors are asking very uncomfortable questions. Some of the sponsors are threatening to pull out their ads with our team featuring in them. The heat has been put on Boy George. Dildo's asking him to justify almost every decision he has taken through the year. Every expense is now being scrutinised. I think the ground work is on for some heads to roll by the time we return to India.