Volcano erupts in the pool

Our day off yesterday was mostly on predictable lines. Guys simply hanging around, getting wasted. Some guys were off shopping. Some others went to the beach.

But then things did get heated up a bit by the time the sun began to set. Post lunch, most of us were in and around the pool. 8 of the guys, including the skipper, were playing water polo, 4-a-side. Others, including Bhookha and some of his buddies, were sitting around drinking beer. When the guys called the water polo match off, the score read 11-11. Bhookha, in his warped sense of humour, remarked that even in this game we couldn't win. Skipper, who's been seething in anger for the last couple of days, quickly retorted saying, "We're lucky you aren't the coach here 'coz then we'd have definitely lost". Not sure whether that was really funny, but everyone in and around the pool broke out in loud laughter. Not just that, we were guffawing for a good 2 minutes. Bhookha's face, already tanned red, seemed to be turning into a strange shade of purple. For the first time, ignoring that team meeting where Skipper rooted for Style Bhai, the Skipper has shown that he's had enough of Bhookha. This one moment may prove to be a decisive moment in our failed IPL campaign. If I were to read too much into it, I think from now on the Skipper will run the ship.

I wonder what took Skipper so long. He didn't select this team. He didn't participate in the talent scout. He didn't decide the batting order. He didn't decide that Junta would bowl the Super Over. He didn't prefer the young Aussie over Bangla. He didn't have a problem with Style Bhai's attitude. And when the shit has hit the fan, he is the one cleaning up. He, along with Dildo, have become the faces of our miserable performance. Where's Bhookha, all this while? He is peacefully hiding behind the army of support staff he has collected for himself. And of course his laptop.

After the last match, Lordie's had a quiet word with Skipper. Essentially telling him that if they have him in the side they need to use him properly. Can't blame Lordie, you know. The guy padded up almost as soon as the openers were in. And he remained padded up for the rest of the inning. At his age, padding up and padding down is quite an effort, you know. These foreigners have absolutely no respect for the elderly, I tell you.

Dildo's informed Boy George that he wants to be with the team for the last 2-3 matches. Looks like the marriage season in India is soon getting over.

News is rife that Dildo's contacted Sticky Something and asked about his availability for the entire IPL season next year. If Sticky Something makes himself available, looks like he will be made captain and he will build the team for next year. Also, Dildo's not selling the team, I've heard from very reliable sources.

I took time to read some of the comments. Looks like some of you want the dope on nocturnal activities of our superstars. I don't blame you coz that's what I want too. But unfortunately, I can't be going to nightclubs every night. And moreover, everyone's become very cautious about having anyone from our team around. And I will only write about what I see, hear and observe. I am not going to cook up stories to cater to the galleries. So, if I have not seen or heard about Appam Chutiya, I will refrain from writing about him.

Talking about Appam Chutiya, the single-biggest contribution of this blog to humanity has been the reformation of Appam Chutiya. For the last week or so, he has been at his best behaviour since the time he was punished in school for pissing on the plants. My congratulations to all those who've made his name such a cult. In the last match, even the crowd in SA was calling him Appam. I would assume a Nobel Peace Prize for such service to humanity may not be too far fetched, would it?

Am headed for breakfast now. Will catch up with you folks later. Till then, alvida.

P.S. Some guy has been posting comments using the name IPL Anonymous. It's not me. I will really appreciate it If any of you tech savvy folks can tell me how he's doing it and how I can stop it.